(Courtesy of Ian)
Simon says: - Some of these phrases are sexist, others are offensive, some are even sexist and offensive. Please don't shoot the messenger and if you think it's gonna be an issue then don't be a NUMPTY, just click close. YOU HAVE BEEN WARNED.
* TESTICULATING
Waving your arms around and talking bollocks.
* BLAMESTORMING
Sitting round in a group, discussing why a deadline was missed or a project failed and who was responsible.
* SEAGULL MANAGER
A manager who flies in, makes a lot of noise, craps on everything and then leaves.
* SALMON DAY
The experience of spending an entire day swimming upstream only to get screwed and die.
* CUBE FARM
An office filled with cubicles.
* PRAIRIE DOGGING
When someone yells or drops something loudly in a cube farm and people's heads pop up over the walls to see what's going on. (This also applies to applause for a promotion because there may be cake.)
* SALAD DODGER
An excellent phrase for an overweight person.
* SWAMP DONKEY
A deeply unattractive person..
* AEROPLANE BLONDE
One who has bleached/dyed her hair but still has a 'black box'.
* PERCUSSIVE MAINTENANCE
The fine art of whacking the crap out of an electronic device to get it to work again.
* OH-NO SECOND
That minuscule fraction of time in which you realize that you've just made a BIG mistake. (e.g. You've hit 'reply all').
* GREYHOUND
A very short skirt, only an inch from the hare.
* MILLENNIUM DOMES
The contents of a Wonder bra, I..e. Extremely impressive when viewed from the outside but there's actually naught in there worth seeing.
* MONKEY BATH
A bath so hot, that when lowering yourself in, you go: 'Oo! Oo! Oo! Aa! Aa! Aa!'.
* MYSTERY BUS
The bus that arrives at the pub on Friday night while you're in the toilet after your 10th pint and whisks away all the unattractive people so the pub is suddenly packed with stunners when you come back in.
* TART FUEL
Bottled premixed spirits, regularly consumed by young women.
* TRAMP STAMP
Tattoo on a female.
* PICASSO BUM
A woman whose knickers are too small for her, so she looks like she's got 4 buttocks.
Simon says: - Some of these phrases are sexist, others are offensive, some are even sexist and offensive. Please don't shoot the messenger and if you think it's gonna be an issue then don't be a NUMPTY, just click close. YOU HAVE BEEN WARNED.
* TESTICULATING
Waving your arms around and talking bollocks.
* BLAMESTORMING
Sitting round in a group, discussing why a deadline was missed or a project failed and who was responsible.
* SEAGULL MANAGER
A manager who flies in, makes a lot of noise, craps on everything and then leaves.
* SALMON DAY
The experience of spending an entire day swimming upstream only to get screwed and die.
* CUBE FARM
An office filled with cubicles.
* PRAIRIE DOGGING
When someone yells or drops something loudly in a cube farm and people's heads pop up over the walls to see what's going on. (This also applies to applause for a promotion because there may be cake.)
* SALAD DODGER
An excellent phrase for an overweight person.
* SWAMP DONKEY
A deeply unattractive person..
* AEROPLANE BLONDE
One who has bleached/dyed her hair but still has a 'black box'.
* PERCUSSIVE MAINTENANCE
The fine art of whacking the crap out of an electronic device to get it to work again.
* OH-NO SECOND
That minuscule fraction of time in which you realize that you've just made a BIG mistake. (e.g. You've hit 'reply all').
* GREYHOUND
A very short skirt, only an inch from the hare.
* MILLENNIUM DOMES
The contents of a Wonder bra, I..e. Extremely impressive when viewed from the outside but there's actually naught in there worth seeing.
* MONKEY BATH
A bath so hot, that when lowering yourself in, you go: 'Oo! Oo! Oo! Aa! Aa! Aa!'.
* MYSTERY BUS
The bus that arrives at the pub on Friday night while you're in the toilet after your 10th pint and whisks away all the unattractive people so the pub is suddenly packed with stunners when you come back in.
* TART FUEL
Bottled premixed spirits, regularly consumed by young women.
* TRAMP STAMP
Tattoo on a female.
* PICASSO BUM
A woman whose knickers are too small for her, so she looks like she's got 4 buttocks.
2 comments:
Tears in my eyes and stitch in my sides, Simon!!
LOL @ Picasso Bum!
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