The Ashes - gloating time

(Courtesy of the Telegraph online)

1) What do you call an Australian Cricketer with 100 by his name? A bowler.

2) Why can't Aussies open bottles? Because they don't have any openers.

3) What do you call an Australian with a bottle of champagne in his hand? A waiter.

4) What do you call a world class Australian Cricketer? Retired.

5) What do you get if you cross the Australian cricket team with an Oxo cube? Laughing stock.