Death Star Canteen

Death Star Canteen by Eddie Izzard (courtesy of Bill)

This had me in tears - BRILLIANT

Things to Ponder - WHY?

1. Why is it that people say they 'slept like a baby' when babies wake up every two hours?

2. If a deaf person has to go to court, is it still called a hearing?
3. Why do we press harder on a remote control when we know the batteries are flat?
4. Why do banks charge a fee on 'insufficient funds' when they know there is not enough?
5. Why does someone believe you when you say there are four billion stars, but check when you say the paint is wet?
6. Why do they use sterilized needles for death by lethal injection?
7. Why doesn't Tarzan have a beard?
8. Why does Superman stop bullets with his chest, but ducks when you throw a revolver at him?
9. Why do Kamikaze pilots wear helmets?
10. Whose idea was it to put an 'S' in the word 'lisp'?
11. What is the speed of darkness?
12. Are there specially reserved parking spaces for 'normal' people at the Special Olympics?
13. If the temperature is zero outside today and it's going to be twice as cold tomorrow, how cold will it be?
14. If it's true that we are here to help others, what are the others doing here?
15. Do married people live longer than single ones or does it only seem longer?
16. Do you cry under water?
17. How is it that we put man on the moon before we figured out it would be a good idea to put wheels on luggage?
18. Why do people pay to go up tall buildings and then put money in binoculars to look at things on the ground?

Did you ever stop and wonder......
1. Who was the first person to look at a cow and say, 'I think I'll squeeze these pink dangly things here, and drink whatever comes out?'
2. Who was the first person to say, 'See that chicken there... I'm gonna eat the next thing that comes outta it's bum.'
3. Why do toasters always have a setting so high that could burn the toast to a horrible crisp, which no decent human being would eat?
4. Why is there a light in the fridge and not in the freezer?
5. Why do people point to their wrist when asking for the time, but don't
point to their bum when they ask where the bathroom is?
6. Why does your Obstetrician, Gynaecologist leave the room when you get undressed if they are going to look up there anyway ?
7. Why does Goofy stand erect while Pluto remains on all fours? They're both dogs!
8. Can blind people see their dreams? Do they dream ??
9. If quizzes are quizzical, what are tests? (This one kills me !!!!)
10. If corn oil is made from corn, and vegetable oil is made from vegetables, then what is baby oil made from ?
11. If electricity comes from electrons, does morality come from morons ?
12. Why do the Alphabet song and Twinkle, Twinkle Little Star have the same tune?
Stop singing and read on . . . . . . . . . .
13. Do illiterate people get the full effect of Alphabet Soup?
14. Did you ever notice that when you blow in a dog's face, he gets mad at you, but when you take him on a car ride, he sticks his head out the window?
15. Does pushing the elevator button more than once make it arrive faster?

Aquathon or Snow-athon?

Another picture of Chris Wayman's recent Aquathon in England - Lovely - Wish I was there - NOT!

Holi - The video

You've read the text, you've seen the photos, now for the movie.

Holi

Holi, also called the Festival of Colours, is a popular Hindu spring festival observed in India and Nepal (and Kajang).

On the first day bonfires are lit at night to signify burning the demoness Holika, Hiranyakashipu's sister.

On the second day, known as Dhulhendi, people spend the day throwing colored powder and water at each other. The spring season, during which the weather changes, is believed to cause viral fever and cold. Thus, the playful throwing of the colored powders has a medicinal significance: the colors are traditionally made of Neem, Kumkum, Haldi, Bilva, and other medicinal herbs prescribed by Āyurvedic doctors.

So Holi came to Kajang and as you can see Seb, Sid, Mummy and their Nana had a ball. In fact it was Meenu and Ranjan that ensured that the Indian side of their culture came to town. Meenu Masi sent all the coloured packets and water pistols from India just so the boys could embrace their cultural roots (or was it to see the look on Shilpa's face when they went berserk and made a mess to end all messes)?

(Click on the photos to enlarge in hi-res)

You Have Got To Be Kidding Me!

Check this out from my firends Chris and Chantal (Elephantfeet). Next time you start moaning and complaining that it's too hot, it might rain, you're too tired or whatever the excuse of the day it is - spare a thought for these poor souls and then quite ya bitchin and get out there.



Deal Tri Spring Aquathon from Elephant Feet
by Chantal Wayman

Spring aquathon, sounded like a nice Easter weekend race for India to make her multisport racing debut.........ummmm, didn't quite envisage her racing in a blizzard!

With Kofi, Nanny Julie and I watching, both Chris and Indie raced in truly appalling conditions. Chris did a 500m pool swim and 8km run and Indie did a 50m pool swim and 500m run. Both did really well, although only one won their age group and got an Easter egg prize, and it wasn't Chris!

Idiot of the Year 2

(Courtesy of Andy Jeffries)

Twas My 42nd Birfday

It's official, it was my 42nd birthday on Tuesday.

Thanks for all the SMS's, eCards, Birthday cards, emails and telephone calls, it was really fabulous to hear from everyone.

I took the day off work with the intention to start the day with a ride but I decided to see the boys off to school instead and did a bit of work from home. Before they left though they gave me two gorgeous hand made birthday cards and a new Nike shirt that I'd been eyeing recently. Those boys, they're so sweet and know just what to buy Daddy!




Shilpa also presented me with a new pair of Lance Armstrong Limited Edition Oakley Radar sunglasses - WICKED! Later in the evening she then gave me another present, I'm not going to say what it is but let's just say it reminds me a bit of the movie "Alien" - I'll try to get some pictures of it soon.





At 12pm I picked the boys up from school, which they seemed pretty stoked about and then drove them home with them singing Happy Birthday to Dad..dy..." all the way home until they fell asleep.

It was then off to play golf with my good buddies - John Penver, John Robertson and Henry Tan who'd kindly taken the afternoon off work in order to humour me on the golf course. I had an outstanding game followed by a few beers and then back to have ice-cream cake with Shilpa and the boys.

They sang Happy Birthday again and blew out my candles with lots of gusto and spittle. We then put them to bed and Shilpa and I went out for dinner and drinks at the Meridien. The plan was also to go to Zeta bar afterwards but being such oldies enough was enough and we cruised home where I promptly passed out in bed with a very contented smile on my face. A good day!

Idiot of the Year 1

(Courtesy of Andy Jeffries)

RIDE & RUN ALERT - 22nd & 23rd March 2008

With Sam away it has been left to me to arrange the ride on Saturday (with the help of KK I believe). The plan is Hulu Langat to the Dam coffee shop and back with the Genting Peres hill (9km) thrown is as a bit of a time trial.

Meet at the traffic lights by the police station in Hulu Langat at 7:15, the mosque at Batu 14 at 7:30-35. Round trip will be 120k from Damanasara or Kajang.

KK will organise the meeting point for the Damansara crowd and we will plan to converge at Hulu Langat at 7:15.

Sunday morning run will be the same as usual, 6:15 start at Bukut Aman carpark. Run to and then around the Petronas petrol station in Sri Hartamas and then back to Bukit Aman - round trip 21k. Anyone that wants to do more in preperation for the KL Marathon are welcome but that's my limit for the timebeing.

"Thanks, It was a Great Ride"

The Associated Press - March 11, 2008

Richard "Dick" Burke, the founder of best-selling bicycle-maker, Trek Bicycle Corp., has died.

Burke died Monday night at a Milwaukee hospital from complications from heart surgery, said his son, John Burke, the company's president. He was 73.

In 1976, Richard Burke founded the company in a red barn in Waterloo, Wisconsin, about 30 miles(48 kilometers) east of Madison.

Trek is known among cyclists for making the bikes that Lance Armstrong rode in his Tour de France victories. Those models feature carbon fiber frames and can sell for thousands of dollars.

The company — known for brands including Trek, Gary Fisher, Klein and Greg LeMond — sells 1.5 million bikes a year and does $700 million (€455 million) in sales.

"He always wanted to build the best bicycle company in the world and he did it," John Burke said.

Burke was born in Chicago in 1934 and moved to Milwaukee when he enrolled at Marquette University. After graduating he worked for several companies including an appliance distribution business. During the bike craze in the 1970s, he realized there was a need for a higher-end builder of bikes in the U.S., his son said, because all the bikes in that segment were imports.

He could not find any brands to distribute himself, so he started Trek. Although his background was in finance and credit, he decided to take the risk, his son said.

"Every time he saw a Trek, he smiled," John Burke said. "He took a lot of pride in Trek."

Burke told Inc.com in an interview in July 2006 that the company built its first bike plant in 1980 and three years later sales were around $20 million (€13 million).

"Some years we made money, some years we lost," he told the magazine. "Everyone looked on it as Dick Burke's Tonka toy."

John Burke said the business went through some tough years but by the mid 1980s, it took off.

It has gained fame among riders for its partnership with Armstrong. Burke said his father was in France for Armstrong's first Tour de France victory.

The company now has a network of more than 5,000 dealers worldwide and 1,600 employees. The majority of its manufacturing is done in Wisconsin, with production of lower-end bikes in Asia.

Burke was an avid runner who competed in five New York City Marathons and three Boston Marathons, his son said. But later in life he rode his bike quite a bit.

Burke is survived by his wife Camille, five children and nine grandchildren.

Bike Set Up - Sunday 16th March

This Sunday I have invited Nick Flyger, Senior Biomechanist from the Nation Sports Institute of Malaysia to come to my place on Sunday to do some bike set ups. Nick has worked with many National Cyclists in New Zealand (and Malaysia of course, Kimberley, Shahrom etc) and specializes (as his title suggests) in correct biomechanics. You only have to read any one of many articles on the subject of bike set up to know that having it done properly by an expert is essential not only for optimum performance but also injury prevention. (I’d hazard to guess that if we’d done this a few months before Ironman Malaysia, without exception we would all have got better bike times).

The process in Malaysia has always been hit and miss, with bike shop owners selling you a bike based upon a number of factors (usually based on what they have in the shop) and not always being whether the bike actually fits you! Having the right sized bike is only half the solution, setting it up properly is just as, if not more important. There’s not a lot we can do about the size of the bikes we have but having saddle height, saddle fore/aft position, stem length, handle bar height, aero position etc correct will mean a lot in terms of saving time whether it’s a 40k or 180k ride, not to mention the reduced chances of injury that a correctly set up bike will ensure.

The charge will be RM150 per person as a group discount. To compare, in the west it will cost anything from US$250 to US$600. Nick will be using tried and tested software, will video you as part of the analysis and then provide you with a report afterwards. The great thing about doing this is that once you have your “numbers” you have them forever and you never need to do this again regardless how many times you change your bike.

I've invited a few people who I thought might be interested but if there is anyone else that would like to get this done drop me an email or leave a comment below and if Nick can fit you in we'd be happy to have you come along.

Drive Carefully

(Pictures courtesy of Sian)

Read the caption on the 1st photo before you look at second photo.

[Click on the picture to enlarge it]















Look at the picture above, and you can see where this guy broke through the guardrail, right side where the people are standing on the road (pointing).

The pick-up was traveling from right to left when it crashed through the guardrail.

It flipped end-over-end, across the culvert outlet, and landed right side up on the left side of the culvert, facing the opposite direction from which he was traveling.



Now look at the 2nd picture.

[Click on the picture to enlarge it - it's worth it just to take in the full magnitude and horror of what happened - or could have happened].

How to Discipline Your Kids

Simon says: - "Shilpa and I are very much against spanking or slapping our boys. No matter how it's dressed up we see it simply as violence and we passionately believe that this is a wrong message to put across to your kids - I recently got this email below that offers an alternative approach. I was skeptical at first but by the time I'd properly understood the concept I'm a convert - what do you think?"

Most of the world's people think it improper to spank children.

The other day I was talking to one of my younger buddies about methods used to
discipline children.

We talked about "time outs", grounding, holding back "rewards" until the child displayed desired behavior etc. One of the things we discussed was the act of spanking and my friend explained that no, he does not spank any of his children.

He explained that what he does is to take the misbehaving child out for a ride in the car. He said that this usually works and that the child calms down fairly quickly. By removing the child, in this case his son, from the immediate situation and providing a change of scenery, the child is allowed to focus on something different. Once the child has the opportunity to change perspective, things get better quickly and the child has better understanding of his place within the family and begins to understand the family's concept of acceptable behavior. [Note: - He even provided a photo to show how effective this technique was - see below]

RIDE & RUN ALERT - Sat 15th & Sun 16th March 2008

Sam the "English" Man says: -

"Folks

Next Saturday we are off to Bukit Tinggi, just past Genting Sempah where we will stop for the usual libation. So the distance will be around 120k depending on where you start from.

Meet opposite True Fitness in Sri Hartamas at 0630 or at the lights (T junction) in Gombak at the start of the old Genting Road at 0710.

Please let me know if you plan to come along. Cheers.

Sam"

Simon says: - "Actually according to my odometer it is about 100k but who's quibbling about a mere 20k. As for the run, the consensus was that 6:30 is too late so back to the usual 6:15 start for a 21k run to Sri Hartamas on Sunday morning"

Triathlete sets her sight on Hawaii

(Note by Simon: - I see that Sam has been once again promoted to Englishman status - you must be very proud Sam. (For those that don't know, Sam is actually Welsh).

Star Newspaper 11 March 2008

By NG WEI LOON

AFTER witnessing the Langkawi Ironman on three previous occasions as a spectator, nurse Carmen Leong sprung a surprise beyond her wildest dream in her debut at this season's race that concluded on Feb 23.

The 39-year-old emerged as the top Malaysian women finisher to clinch the third spot in the women's 35-39 years category with a time of 12'39:09 in the gruelling 3.8km swim, 180km cycle and 42.2km run course.

For Leong, the icing on the cake was securing her berth to compete against more illustrious triathletes at the Ford Ironman World Championships scheduled in Kona, Hawaii on October 11.

Leong said her achievement was a dream come true.

“I am delighted that I have done well in such a short period as Langkawi was my second Ironman race. I heard about the prominent event in Hawaii from my training buddies. Getting a chance to feature in a high profiled race is such a rare privilege. I paid RM1,800 when I signed up to confirm my entry,” she added.

Going into the race at Langkawi, the rookie did not set any specific target. Leong revealed she was on cloud nine when she surpassed her closest Malaysian rival, Wendy Wong, mid-way through the final discipline.

“I was so happy when I overtook her because I knew that I have grabbed the top Malaysian women's spot,” said Leong, who holds a personal best of 4'04 in the marathon.

Despite coming out of the water with an eight-minute advantage against Wong, Wong proved to be a more accomplished cyclist.

Wong closed down and stretched her lead when she was almost 25 minutes faster than Leong on the saddle.

“Besides the scorching weather, I found it tough going on the bicycle. It was challenging to cope with the hilly terrain as well as the headwind. I felt the strain on my back after the first 60km on the bike. I reckon it was due to my bike's setting because I changed the handlebar prior to the race,” said Leong.

Fortunately, she felt fresh after the cycling to mount a comeback on the final running leg. It was also her maiden triumph over Malaysia's top ranked women triathlete Dr. Fiona Lim, who is considered a more established competitor.

“Honestly, I have been trailing her over the years. It was the first time I finished ahead of her ,” added Leong.

Although she registered a slower time compared to her first Ironman feat at the Ironman Western Australia Triathlon in Bussselton, Australia in December, her training partner Sam Pritchard said they anticipated it because of the demanding conditions in Langkawi.

In her first appearance tackling the full Ironman distance in Australia, she crossed the finish line in 12'30.

“It was not surprising that she came slower because Langkawi is regarded as one of the top three most difficult courses in the world. The two other venues are Kona (Hawaii) and Lanzrote (Spain),” added Pritchard, who is a retired Englishman residing here for the past eight years.

After the outing in Busselton, the duo only started training in late January for the event in Langkawi.

“I am confident that I can still improve on my performance especially in the swim and cycle. I have not reached my peak yet,” said Leong, adding that running has always been her forte.

She aims to reduce her personal best by another 15 minutes to 12'15.

At the moment, Leong will recuperate after her fruitful outing in Langkawi for the next three months.

During her recovery period, she will only engage in light workouts.

“Currently, we are sourcing funds for her to compete in Hawaii. It will cost about RM10,000 for her to realise her dream to race against the best in the world. We will make sure that she gets to the starting line. Serious training will only start in June. We will draw up a structured endurance-training programme for 15 weeks and she has to chalk up between 12 and 15 hours a week as a build up to the world meet,” said Pritchard, who has also submitted his entry into the lottery draw to secure a place for the race in Hawaii.

Well Blow Me Over - An interesting Election!

Since I grew up and became cynical and worn out by politics and politicians, I haven't really paid much attention to any of it. The US elections affect us all and is a mildly amusing media circus, there's even a little intrigue occasionally but by and large it all pretty dull and full of BS.

Never was there a more predicable and boring political process than Malaysian elections - basically "dictatorship by consent", although strongly influenced by a biased media and restrictive laws on public gathering and protests. Actually, it's worked pretty well for 50 years but all of a sudden the masses have said "Hold on a minute, there might just be another way!"

The incumbent government is still in control but with a greatly reduced majority and with a renewed and revitalised opposition brimming with confidence.

Both points are excellent news for Malaysia as the apple cart of the economy isn't upset but at the same time the opposition get some real power. Over the next few years they will evolve and get stronger and one would hope that the incumbent government will actually listen to the people and change for the better; if not the opposition will take over next time around when they have matured as a political force - either way the future looks promising.

Here's an extract from Malaysia Today: -

Shock swing against BN shows it's out of touch and catches media by surprise
By Ling Chang Hong, THE STRAITS TIMES

TAKE heed of what the voters are saying.

That in essence was the message yesterday from the Malaysian media to the Abdullah Badawi government as it reacted to the stunning election result that saw the opposition seizing five out of 13 states, including urban Selangor.

Saturday's election also left the government without its two-thirds majority in Parliament for the first time since 1969.

The shocking nature of the outcome was captured in headlines suggestive of massive earthquakes or other natural disasters.

'Political Tsunami,' screamed the headline in the top-selling Sunday Star newspaper. 'BN Rocked,' said the New Sunday Times (NST).

This is a Public Service Announcement (with Guitar)

Classic blast from The Clash - no video but a great song and something to think about and reflect upon before you cast your vote (Malaysians only) in tomorrow's election.

Poll Result - Who do you want to see as the next US President?

The overwhelming answer was - NOT George W. Bush with 54% of the vote. I for one voted for this option and the the world is surely going to be a safer place as soon as this meglamanic is gone, no matter who takes his place.








Obama was the next highest choice with 22% of the vote followed by Hilary Clinton with 16% of the vote. Hillary would be my actual choice had I not been so fed up of the incumbant idjut.









The Bill and Hilary team did a great job last time (although a bit distracted by Monica's blue dress and cigar habits) but more of the same I say. Obama, your turn next time.









Sorry to see Rudi (2%) screw things up so royally.







I'm sorry, but who is John MaCain (4%)?











Anyway, enough of this boring politics stuff, no doubt I'll have another poll when the elections are underway properly i.e. John MaCain vs Obama or Hilary

Brilliant - for all Parents

(Sent courtesy of Paris)

Ride and Run Alert - Sat 8th & Sun 9th March 2008

Sam the Man says: -

"Folks

With a successful Ironman Langkawi behind you, its now time to ease back into our regular Sat rides with a relatively easy and flat ride to Kuala Selangor. Simon will be joining us which is good. The ride distance will be around 120k. We will have a breakfast stop in KS albeit I am not familiar with the good ‘makan’ stops here. Perhaps Siok Bee can recommend somewhere.

Meet at my condo (Li Villas) ready to leave by 0630 or meet at the Sungai Buloh toll (just after the barrier) at 0650.

As usual, please let me know if you are coming along. Cheers.

Sam"

Simon says: -

"With my new insoles I'll be attempting a run to Sri Hartamas on Sunday morning with a 6:30am start if anyone is interested in joining me for a "slow, exploratory" run"

Who's a Silly Boy?

(photo courtesy of Ivie - Squirrels Site)

It's official - I'm a complete "Numptie" a.k.a. "an Idjut"!

Having injured my right foot by trying to run long just one week after the Western Australia Ironman (having also run two 42.2k training runs, Powerman and the Bangkok Marathon in the preceding 5 weeks) these facts alone probably have most readers thinking what a "plonker" and I got exactly what I deserved.

Well to top it off I decided that the best way to fix the problem would be to gently train through it and work on the basis of denial.

By the time I realised that this approach wasn't working it was 3 weeks before the Malyaisian Ironman and there was no way I was going to a doctors to be told that I couldn't race (Shilpa would never have allowed me to ignore the doc's advice). So I buried my head a little deeper in the sand and stopped running altogether.



Come race day I had barely run in 3 months and my foot was pretty sore during the entire exercise although it was the lack of run training that really slowed me down.

Never mind I thought, at least I finished the race and now I'll go and see the foot doctor.

That was yesterday and after he'd listened, looked and prodded the conversation went something like this: -

Dr. Low "Yes, yes, no big deal, use these shoe inserts and you'll be right as rain".
Numptie Simon "Is that it, what about anti-inflammatories, drugs, physiotherapy, surgery?"
Dr. Low "Waste of time, no, no need, definitely not"
Numptie Simon "How soon can I start running again?"
Dr. Low "Today, this afternoon, now, whenever you like"
Numptie Simon "How far can I run"
Dr. Low "As far as you like, just back off if it starts hurting"
Numptie Simon "Is that it? As simple as that?"
Dr. Low "Yes"
Numptie Simon "So, if I'd come to you in December you could have fixed it straight away?"
Dr. Low "Yes"
Numptie Simon "Blimey, so there really is nothing else?"
Dr. Low "Well there is one thing!"
Numptie Simon "A-ha, I knew it couldn't have been as simple as that, what is it?"
Dr. Low "My bill, please pay on the way out".

So there you have it, when you think you might need to see a doctor, don't be a Numptie, go and see one.

Let's hope I've learned my lesson!!!!!

Spot the Difference

(Photo Courtesy of Sam)

One of these athletes has just qualified for Hawaii and the other just qualified for a hospital bed. Please send your entries to...

(More photos recently added to "Ironman Number 13 & The Dunkirk Spirit")

Sid and Seb at the Post Langkawi IM Party

(Photo Courtesy of Sam)

As you can see Sid still with the Hawaiian theme but Seb already ejected his cool Hawaiian threads as they got wet playing in the playground.

Tiger Beer

From a friend lost in Spain with a friend in Singapore

...in the words of the lady at the Hawker Centre when asked for a Tiger Beer: -

"Can, cannot. Bottle, can".

Simon says: - "It took me a minute to work it out and I live in this part of the world!"