Blonde Logic

(Courtesy of Ian)

BLONDE LOGIC
Two blondes living in Townsville were sitting on a bench talking........
And one blonde says to the other, "Which do
You think is farther away.......... Melbourne or the moon?"

The other blonde turns and says "Helloooooooooo, can
You see Melbourne ...?????"

CAR TROUBLE
A blonde pushes her BMW into a gas station. She tells the
Mechanic it died.
After he works on it for a few minutes, it is idling smoothly. She
Says, "What's the story?"
He replies, "Just crap in the carburetor"

She asks, "How often do I have to do that?"


SPEEDING TICKET
A police officer stops a blonde for speeding and asks her very
nicely if he could see her license.

She replied in a huff, "I wish you guys would get your act
together. Just yesterday you take away my license and then
Today you expect me to show it to you!"

RIVER WALK
There's this blonde out for a walk. She comes to a river and sees
another blonde on the opposite bank. "Yoo-hoo!" she shouts,
"How can I get to the other side?"

The second blonde looks up the river then down the river and
Shouts back, "You ARE on the other side."

AT THE DOCTOR'S OFFICE
A gorgeous young redhead goes into the doctor's office and said
that her body hurt wherever she touched it.
"Impossible!" says the doctor. "Show me."
The redhead took her finger, pushed on her left breast and
screamed, then she pushed her elbow and screamed in even
more. She pushed her knee and screamed; likewise she
pushed her ankle and screamed. Everywhere she touched
made her scream.

The doctor said, "You're not really a redhead, are you?
"Well, no" she said, "I'm actually a blonde."

"I thought so," the doctor said. "Your finger is broken"

BLONDE ON THE SUN
A Russian, an American, and a Blonde were talking one day. The
Russian said, "We were the first in space!" The American said, "We were
the first on the moon!"
The Blonde said, "So what? We're going to be the first on the sun!"
The Russian and the American looked at each other and shook their
heads. "You can't land on the sun, you idiot! You'll burn up!" said
The Russian.

To which the Blonde replied, "We're not stupid, you know. We're
going at night!"

IN A VACUUM
A blonde was playing Trivial Pursuit one night. It was her turn.
She rolled the dice and she landed on Science & Nature. Her
question was, "If you are in a vacuum and someone calls your
name, can you hear it?"

She thought for a time and then asked, "Is it on or off?"

PET BLONDE
A girl was visiting her blonde friend, who had acquired two
new dogs, and asked her what their names were. The blonde
responded by saying that one was named Rolex and one
was named Timex.
Her friend said, "Whoever heard of someone naming dogs like
that?"

"HELLLOOOOOOO......," answered the blonde.
"They're watch dogs!"